Dry Gin 4 Jen (No, it's Dry Jan)

Dry Gin 4 Jen (no it's dry Jan) [length: 3m 23s] is a song by Shaun Keaveny. It is a satirical song about the 'Dry January' trend of abstaining from alcohol during the first month of the year, and is a now-recurrent featurette each January.

It was first broadcast on Episode 003 on Friday 7 January 2022 but was released to Patreon on the 1st January.

Who, currently, is NOT remonstrating with themselves, self-flaggelating, hairshirting, beating themselves off (sid) sorry, up, about overindulgence over the festive period?? NO-ONE, say i!! Into this morass of abject self-pity, new gym membership-solipsism, six-pack dreams and possible liver transplant hell i plunge this musical masterpiece.

A 'live acoustic electric' version was broadcast on Episode 108 on Friday 5th January 2024 with a video recording posted to Patreon.

Lyrics

Jen went mad on the booze

It gave her New Year blues

And now she's giving up

Dry Gin for Jen (no, it's Dry Jan)

Sick on her bosses shoes

Shoes that she can't reuse

Her boss is very mad

Dry Gin for Jen (no, it's Dry Jan).

At the start of the night she's so charming

By the end of the night she's self harming

She cannot stop at one

And now she's totally gone.

She had to remonstrate

And have a huge debate

And now she's in a state

Dry Gin for Jen (no, it's Dry Jan)

Perusing shopping aisles

For tasty booze with no alcohol

While craving new year beers

and fruity drinks - maybe Aperol

So now she's swearing off

And my hat, I must doff

She's raising Cash for Kids

Dry Gin for Jen (no, it's Dry Jan)

On the 1st day of Feb she'll stop stopping

At the local disco she'll be bopping

She will not stop at one

And she'll be totally gone

Keeping Jen mostly tame

Is the name of the game

But come Friday she's parched

Dry Gin for Jen oh yeah she's lifted the ban

Dry Gin for Jen, she's lifted the ban.